"Do I contradict myself? Very well, I contradict myself. I am vast. I contain multitudes." -Walt Whitman

:malicious user:

Monday, December 13, 2004

shit i hope you never have to go through: having the doctors use the phrase "less than ten percent chance of survival" right before your loved one goes under the knife. having to call relatives so they can make unexpected travel arrangements. wondering if, above the sound of your heart beating in relief hours later, that was some god saying "just teasing."


as far as i know, i'm in okay health. but i wish the people i care about would stop fucking around like this.

just so you know, you guys are kinda important to me.

so please,

stop getting sick

stop succumbing to your diseases

stop walking up to death's door to play ring and run

stop fucking dying on me

it might be romantically dramatic if i were a sixteen year old girl. or if i were robert smith.

now, it's just getting old

and you wonder why i'm not funny anymore.
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i used to be disgusted. now i try to be amused.
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