"Do I contradict myself? Very well, I contradict myself. I am vast. I contain multitudes." -Walt Whitman

:malicious user:

Monday, December 13, 2004

what i wanted to say to the beautiful young woman on the next stool, while i sipped my glenlivet: i am impressed. since you entered my life, merely an hour ago, three people have come to you for advice. one by your own admission; the second, our mutual barmaid, the third a caller on your cell phone. i'd tell you that i was impressed, simply as a compliment, but i doubt you'd understand the intent. more likely, you would think i was hitting on you. but that would not be the case. for one thing, you may be beautiful, but you are not anything i would be interested in. but more relevantly, i am not part of your world.

i will never be part of your world, and you will never even know me. i'm not even your gardener, your poolboy. i'm not even your interior designer, or the man who taught her everything she knew. i'm not the doctor who'll save your daddy's life when he has a heart attack. i'm the guy who made sure the machine that kept his heart beating worked correctly. i'm the guy who ensured his drugs were as good as they should be. i'm the guy that kept him from being accidently poisoned by a bad batch of antibiotics. you will never know me.

and that's okay. because i will never know the woman who ran the die to build the fuel injector in my honda. who was beaten to death by her husband in ohio, for not making enough to support both their children and his heroin addiction.

but i know you. you rose above stereotype of 90210, trying to help a friend over the phone while she cried so loudly i could hear her above the din of the bar.

it's hard to be self-righteous at times like that. you'd probably like to know that. it would likely bring a smile to your perfect features.

whilst i admit defeat.
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i used to be disgusted. now i try to be amused.
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