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"Do I contradict myself? Very well, I contradict myself. I am vast. I contain multitudes." -Walt Whitman

:malicious user:

Thursday, April 27, 2006

the kindness of strangers

before i say anything else about anything else, let me express my sincere thanks to all of you who have offered well wishes, thoughts, prayers, and/or kharma for angel. it does mean more than i can say to have your support. so again: thank you.

today is the last day of angel's first battery of carcinoma counterattacks. this marks six doses of chemotherapy and 40+ rounds of radiation therapy. next week it's back to the oncologist to see what progress (if any) we mere mortals have made against what remains an incurable disease.

(for those of you who smoke and have heard all the arguments before: here it comes again. angel's hair is falling out. she is so weak that she sleeps an exhausted, unrestful sleep three-quarters of the day, every day. her skin, where the radiation has been pummelling her, is an unhealthy, crispy brown. think 'sun poisoning'. her voice is a barely audible rasp. her brain is fuzzed out on pain killers that really only aggravate the situation for everyone involved - they don't do a whole lot for the pain, though. it's a lot of fun. you should look forward to it.)

so you might well figure that i've got a lot on my mind. not least of which are the finances here at malicious, inc. imagine my joy when i updated my microsoft money file this past weekend and saw how much time the 90-day forecast line spent below the abscissa. last night i balanced the checkbook with the newly arrived statement and concluded that the paycheck coming tomorrow has already been exceeded by my debt obligations. seriously.

i got a message (unsurprisingly) to call my bank. i guessed, correctly, that they wanted to discuss my account, seeing as it is overdrawn by an awfullotof ben franklins at the present. upon speaking with the bank representative, i assured her a deposit to cover the negative balance was forthcoming at midnight tonight, with my paycheck's direct deposit. i briefly explained that i was digging my way out of a fiscal abyss, with my immediate goal being to reach a state where my preauthorized debits stopped hitting the bank before my preauthorized deposits - i'm getting clobbered by overdraft fees.

much to my surprise, the representative was completely understanding, and not the least bit condescending. then she said, "i see you've been charged with [anawfullotofdollars] in overdraft fees this week. i'll waive those for you." i thanked her profusely.

that just might be the gift that gets my head above water long enough to make it to shore.

i wonder if she could hear my tears of gratitude.
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i used to be disgusted. now i try to be amused.
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