"Do I contradict myself? Very well, I contradict myself. I am vast. I contain multitudes." -Walt Whitman

:malicious user:

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

three blog

here's a break from my usual pulse-pounding, edge-of-your-seat drama. from romy. any similarities to her post are purely intentional.

Three screen names I've had : trevor242, malicioususer, mlausen

Three things I like about myself : The way I feel when I listen to music. I love cooking. I'm still breathing.

Three things I don't like about myself : My physique. I procrastinate until things get desperate. I am too ignorant of my own values.

Three parts of my heritage : English, Irish, and Welsh.

Three things that scare me : Movies about demons; sewer grates; fundamentalists.

Three of your everyday essentials : Music, Coffee, the sound of my angel's voice.

Three things you are wearing right now : pants, shirt, underwear. No jewelry, no adornments, no tattoos.

Three of my favorite songs : Not a fair question for me. But here are three songs that, when playing, absorb me completely and make it damn near impossible for me to pay attention to anything else: "Available Light" by Rush; "2 Rights Make 1 Wrong" by Mogwai; "Joyful Sounds" by The Word.

Things I want in a relationship : Honesty, trust and humor.

Two truths and a lie : I cannot eat powdered sugar without inhaling it and choking, which has led to a severe aversion to entenmann's coffee cake. Not only is there a better than 50% chance that I can name the song you're trying to remember, but there is a better than 50% chance that I own it. As an altar boy, I lit my cassock on fire during 6 am mass, and no one noticed.

Three things I can't do without : Water, music, and God. (right on, romy)

Three places you want to go on vacation : Ireland, Greece, Spain.

Three things you just can't do : Throw a perfect spiral. Develop a lasting interest in video games. Grill the perfect burger.

Three kids' names : Isobel, Eric, Emerson.

Things you want to do before you die : Live a very long time in good health, see Gaudi's Sagrada Familia Cathedral, learn to play an instrument. Any instrument. bagpipes, jew's harp, whatever.

Three celeb crushes : Jennifer Connelly, Julia Ormond in Smilla's Sense of Snow, and that's it. Not much of a celeb crusher.

Three people you want to know these things about : you, and you, and you. If you feel like answering. ('Cos that's what makes the meme go round).

Sunday, October 23, 2005

craigslist as a social barometer

i'm trying to unload my stuff using ebay and craigslist. it's cool that craigslist allows you to give away stuff by listing it under "free". I noticed that the FREE listing illustrates some basic differences between long island and virginia beach. For free on long island, you can get:

  • a bed
  • end tables
  • a couch
  • a graco high chair
  • a boat

The residents of virginia beach, on the other hand, are offering the following freebies:

  • a cat, orange, female
  • a cat, orange, male
  • a rooster
  • seashells
  • dirt

Saturday, October 22, 2005

new name! new location! same snarky attitude!

the theme of the season is: "moving". first, random access has moved here, and undergone a bit of a name change as well. second, the author and immediate housemates are going in different directions. the freak (aka mouse) and freakspawn are heading back to virginia next month. angel and i are heading west into the next county. the dog is going with us. the cat has previously gone on to the great kitty playhouse in the sky.

all of this moving around is not voluntary. certain legal actions have reduced my take-home pay to laughably small amounts, which have made it impossible to maintain rental payments for the foreseeable future. thus i am joining the ranks of ACLWTP*. there is, luckily, room at Chez Folks for angel and the dog as well as for prodigal son.

freak and freakspawn are having to find room elsewhere - "elsewhere" being freak's sister's apartment in virginia. to finance the trip down, freak is selling everything she has she can legally sell. if it were legal, she'd probably sell freakspawn, too. alas, ebay has certain guidelines that must be adhered to.

the dog gets no say in the matter, and is going with us.

the cat also had no say in the matter, as best as i can tell.

taking a cue from freak, i've also been attempting to sell whatever possessions i have that might fetch the money to make them worth the effort to sell. the items that i'm excluding from this venture are (1) the car, which is paid for and which is necessary for the commute to/from work, (2) my framed dark side of the moon posters, because i like them too much, (3) the bed, which i will hopefully need in the future, (4) my bicycle, which i've had since i was a teenager and which is a desirable alternate form of transportation when gas is three dollars a gallon, and (5) my tv/dvd player/stereo, which will likely keep me sane in the coming months. i've moved seven times (that i remember), and each time left behind more and more of my books. i think i've whittled down the library to the state of what i consider my "must-owns", or at least my "no don't make me get rid of those".

[in one of the smartest moves i've ever made, my music collection is in my office, so until i get fired or absorbed in a hostile takeover, that is one variable out of the equation. (that strategy only backfired last year when the company decided to remodel the offices, and i had to temporarily move my files and 1000 cds into what amounted to a glorified closet.)]

after setting aside the list of exclusions, i came to a depressing realization (albeit one i was certainly aware of in a let's-not-think-about-it sort of way): most of what i own is worthless junk. my sole items on ebay/craigslist are the livingroom tv, which i bought because freakspawn had learned to walk and i was moving my sony flatscreen into the bedroom to save its life; and two pink floyd promo posters for The Final Cut, which the Ex framed for me back when we first met (yes, these posters are 20 years old).

what of my other possessions? the truck was stolen and totalled by the felon; the dining room table, home office desk, living room sofa, entertainment center (when did they stop calling them 'tv stands'?), and lamps all came out of dumpsters or garage sales. The home pc is set up on a workmate toolbench. the bedroom furniture is third hand. the bookshelves are built into the house walls, and it's doubtful i could take them with me.

i suspect the storage space i will have to rent to store our belongings will contain: one third-hand bed frame and matresses; books; kitchen utensils. and a mirror.

so, yeah, this is certainly a new location, although it feels kind of familiar. mr. dylan says it better than i ever could:

Well my ship's been split to splinters and it's sinking fast
I'm drownin' in the poison, got no future, got no past
But my heart is not weary, it's light and it's free
I've got nothin' but affection for all those who've sailed with me

Everybody movin' if they ain't already there
Everybody got to move somewhere
Stick with me baby, stick with me anyhow
Things should start to get interesting right about now

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

tabula rasa
i'm over here now.

Monday, October 17, 2005

it's gonna be a good week
11:20 am. number of times my co-workers have commented on wanting to consume alcohol, marijuana, and/or hallucinogenic fungi: 3.
Percent of these comments made by supervisory staff: 100%.

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

help unwanted

there's no point to this post other than to vent my frustration. i've had an employee "on loan" from another department for the last year and a half. During that time upper management transferred her from her orignal department to another department - but not mine. Her transfer was a lateral transfer, with no pay increase. For 18 months she has consistently turned out top-notch work. Her communication skills are very good, she learns quickly, and she's a fun person to boot. Yet, because she reports to another department, I've had no official say in her annual review. Last year she was reviewed, given an average rating, a salary increase much less than she deserved, and was passed over (twice) for stock options. In the meantime, my department acquired three other employees, all from her previous and present departments - so the arguement of not having the headcount didn't hold water. Still, she maintains her caliber of work despite moral-crushing circumstances. Finally, management agreed that she would be officially transferred to my department in January 2006.
She left in June to have her first child, and returned last month part time. After the "phase-back" period expired, she was faced with a tough decision, as she could only find daycare to cover two days a week. At that number of hours, she would lose her benefits. Working from home is not an option at this company.
Today she made her decision official, and handed in her resignation letter. This is the best choice for her and her new family. It is the company's loss, as this woman cranks out more high-quality deliverables than almost any other two employees combined. But the company, having blown every opportunity to reward her hard work or otherwise create a sense of loyalty, shouldn't be surprised.
My previous boss here faced the same situation years ago, losing a bright young worker in part due to insurmountable corporate policies and a few spiteful, hard-headed executives. He summed it up the corporate advancement philosophy perfectly with four words:

we eat our young.

Monday, October 10, 2005

can someone tell me where the hell that smell is coming from? it's driving me nuts . . .

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

black dog

have i mentioned my current loathing for all things living and dead?

Saturday, October 01, 2005

this just in
the reverend al sharpton today blasted mayor michael bloomberg, accusing him of being "white". this clearly racist action on the part of new york's mayor will be met by sharpton organizing borough-wide protests, a march on city hall, and a made-for-tv docudrama to be shown on FOX next month.

i used to be disgusted. now i try to be amused.
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