"Do I contradict myself? Very well, I contradict myself. I am vast. I contain multitudes." -Walt Whitman

:malicious user:

Tuesday, November 29, 2005


got a cd player?
got headphones?
got a jones for something a little different than the usual mix?
drop me a line.
cepheus is rising.

almost too quiet


nothing big going on. eat sleep drink dream. work.
it is likely the calm before a storm i should see coming but don't.
do you hear a fan?
what's that smell?

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

like a hallmark card, but cheaper. unless you stole the card.
wishing all y'all a thanksgiving that is at least good enough to rule it out as a possible inspiration for a ben folds song.

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

hey joe*

can anybody tell me where to get a decent cup of coffee around here?

*yeah, bet you've got that riff stuck in your head now.

Friday, November 18, 2005

for rent: studio apt., unfurnished, no windows, large door.

the move went smoothly. during the past few days i reduced my worldly belongings to the category of "things i can lift by myself". yesterday i lifted them all. today even my eyelashes are sore.

having seen (and filled) the 10 by 10 storage unit, i realized that, in a pinch, one could live there for only $125 a month. For a few dollars more, one could rent a unit with climate control.

of course, it's probably illegal; but like i said, in a pinch . . .

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

for sawni

this month will mark two score years since my arrival on this planet (much to the surprise of the doctor who had performed the tubal ligation on my mother five years earlier). i am one of those persons who is rarely the lead character in the story, but much more often a supporting actor, if not an outright spectator. there are not many miracles, much action, much tragedy and triumph to fill the pages of the book of bob. (it's beginning to be clear why this blog has such a huge audience.) the drama i've experienced has typically been the result of my own foibles and follies. i've been homeless once and broke often and irresponsible and irrational most of the time.

and no matter how much stupidity and abuse i put out (and believe me, i can be stunningly stupid and abusive), my friends and family have always been there to support me, to resuscitate me, to point me in the right direction and give me a new pair of shoes and a thermos of joe and make sure my fly was closed this time. if there's a more subtle miracle than the forgiveness of those who love us, i can't name it.

another penultimate moment. plus hurtling.

tomorrow is moving day. oh sure, i've moved angel and the dog and me to chez folks, but what's left of our stuff is boxed up at the house, still waiting to be moved into storage. a few odds & ends (mostly odds) remain to be moved to my folks (or, as angel called it yesterday, "home"). today i'm at work, though, and for reasons irrelevant to this post i left behind my newly inspected honda accord (0 - 60 in the length of time it takes to translate moby dick into swahili) and borrowed my folks' van.

by van, i mean minivan.

i mean 1991 astro van.

100K miles.

i've driven sedans big and small, vans, suvs, a ford explorer with a 9-inch lift and 38" tires, and a few moving trucks. they all, in once sense or another, rolled, drove, rode, cruised, zipped.

not the astro van.

this vehicle moves in a manner is best described by the word "hurtles".

i hurtled to work today.

driving this thing is like being duct-taped to a life-size replica of the star trek shuttle and pushed down a very steep hill. i kept thinking of the mars polar lander. or perhaps the mars climate orbiter.

it's a long trip home. pray for me.

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

scenes of unimportance, photos in a frame

changes abound. freak and freakspawn woke in new york today, but will be sleeping in virginia tonight. angel and i will spend the next few days discarding the unessentials, packing the essentials, and storing the inbetweens in a ten by ten box. i need to get my car inspected, and work on other car-related issues that will become more important as my daily commute increases from 8 miles each way to 28 miles each way. hopefully my landlord will fix the plumbing, so the kitchen sink and clothes washer become usable again. and maybe somewhere in there i'll get my hair cut.

have a great handful of days. see you next week.

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

moving tip #17: flotsam/jetsam

when you become overwhelmed by the task of going through all those boxes in the basement to decide what to keep, what to sell or donate, and what to throw out, arrange for one of the main water pipes to burst. Two inches of water is sufficient to turn your basement into a shallow pond, and a shallow pond is enough to turn a huge hunk of those items into worthless crap that you need haul no further than the curbside on trash day.

stupendously bad timing: just one more service we offer here at chez malice.

Monday, November 07, 2005

you saw this coming, right?
freak and freakspawn are leaving wednesday, and angel and i plan to leave no later than the 20th. what we haven't sold, thrown out, or given away is piled about the house in various places, like my office and the basement, in and half-in and out of boxes as we pack.

so today the basement flooded.

Friday, November 04, 2005

17 days and counting
it is friday and my weekend holds the following in store:
  • a celebration of indian music and dance, courtesy of one of my coworkers
  • 8 hours in the pharmacy
  • moving sale, part 2
  • packing up and/or throwing out everything left after the moving sale
  • sheer exhaustion
see you on the flipside.

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

19 days to go
yesterday evening the landlord brought the realtor by. they'll be showing the house now, and can show up at any time. i may take to wandering the house in a superhero costume, or bearskin, or a maid's outfit. for when the potential homeowners stop by.

i might also have to mention the lack of heat in the front office, the leaky antique oil burner in the basement, and the rampant carpenter ant damage.

this morning the phone service terminated.

are we having fun yet?

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

the analog kid
add another item to that list of songs that render me useless for the duration: la villa strangiato by rush.

let the countdown begin

only 20 days until angel, dog, and i move. only 9 days until freak/freakspawn move. we had a moving sale sunday and managed to unload some of the larger items. during the sale, i realized two things.

(1) people in huntington don't read. despite my previous comments about not parting with any more books, i had well over 200 available for sale. sold not a one.

(2) people in huntington don't listen. i announced to a dining-room full of shoppers, "everything in the room is for sale, except the radio flyer wagon." the woman next to me immediately and sincerely inquired, "how much for the radio flyer wagon?" if odd looks were rocks, the woman would've been stoned to death on the spot.

in an unrelated note, november 1 is a favorite holiday of mine (Leftover Candy Day - November 13 in Canada). everyone decides that they don't want to leave the leftover halloween candy at home, because they'll be tempted to eat it and get fat and have no room for thanksgiving dinner, so they bring it into work for their coworkers.

then everyone in the office spends the day eating everyone else's leftover candy. apparently other people's candy has fewer calories.

i used to be disgusted. now i try to be amused.
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